Miki's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day
by badstorieswrittenbyme
Summary: Miki wakes up to find that everythings gone horribly wrong in his life. (More so.) Will he survive the pitfalls this day has to offer with his precious innocence intact? Just how much lesbian sex will he see? Will his sister ever put some clothes on?


Miki's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Miki no Sex Perversion

By Violet

The sun rose that fine morning on the classrooms and dorms of Ohtori Academy. A thin beam of light fell on the small sleeping form of Kaoru Miki, still curled up in his blue rose pattern sheets at 7:35. He slowly opened his eyes, and blinked, slowly at first and then with more panic. His stopwatch, or "Stoppie" as he liked to call it, was missing from its usual place on the blue silken pillow by his head. He scrambled out of bed, and glanced at the clock on his bedside table.

"7:35! But school starts at 8:00! Holy revolution! I'm late!" Miki walked into the bathroom, where he had left his uniform hanging on a hook behind the door. However It was missing! He turned the room nearly upside down looking for it, but all he could find to wear was a tube top of Kozue's that said "Hot Stuff" and had a picture of a flaming red rose beneath it the words, and a pair of spandex short shorts in an ugly yellow.

"I can't go outside wearing this! I mean, the Student Council has its honor!" Miki thought about Touga's "relationship" with his little sister and Saionji's getting kicked out of school, and laughed at what he had just said. He looked up at the clock, "7:55! And my music lesson is my first class! I have to go to that!" Miki liked his piano lessons more than any other class, despite his teacher's "unfortunate" accident. Miki shuddered, then came up with what seemed to be a great idea. He started to leave, still in his tighty whities. He was way too embarrassed to go out in the short shorts. His reasoning went like so: _"If I go out of doors in my undiesThen, I'm just a random undie boy. But.. If I go out in Kozue's short shorts It confirms people's suspicions that I'm kinda.. Roar.. You know.. Kind of fruity.."_ Miki's mental image was a cut up apple sitting on a chair in the council tower.

"I'll go over to Miss Utena and Miss Anthy's dorm.. Maybe Miss Utena has an extra boy's uniform that none of the other boys wear to lend me." Miki let himself out the back door of his dorm and started to creep over to Utena's dorm, when he heard some giggles a few feet away. He looked up to see a gaggle of giggling girls (Editor's Note: Say that three times fast) a few feet away. His eyes got huge as they started to squeal and point.

"Who's that lurking over there?"

"Oh, it's Miki!"

"Oh, he's so cute!"

"Miki come over here!" They rushed over to him and all glomped him at once until they realized,

"EEEK!!! That's not the sweet, innocent Miki we know!! HE'S A SEX PERVERT!!!" they yelled in unison still running away. Miki blushed a shade of red so violent, he looked like Touga's hair. He finally reached the dorm he knew so well. He walked to the room and knocked. Getting no answer, he slowly opened the unlocked door.

"They must be at school already and.. AHHH!!" Miki screamed, as loud as he could. Because as he opened the door, Miki knew Utena and Anthy hadn't planned on going to school that day. Anthy looked up from where she was licking curry-flavored shaved ice off of Utena's stomach.

"Ohayo Miki-kun." She said mildly. Utena, who was tied to the desk, (Editor's note: And right now I don't wish I had one like it..) dressed in a playboy Chu Chu (Author's note: It's not quite a Playboy bunny outfit, it's not quite a Chu Chu I don't even wanna think about it.) outfit looked up and screamed a slightly more masculine scream. It was then poor Miki-kun realized that it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. So as most people do when they realize this, Miki decided to go home to bed. He got back to his dorm without incident, and opened the door. His sister Kozue lay stretched out on his bed wearing nothing but slutty red lipstick and a mocking grin. She giggled.

"Ohayo, Miki-chan.. Some girls in my class told me you had become a sex pervert.. So, here I am!" she grinned and rolled off his bed to put a tape in the VCR, "And I rented us a movie." Miki glanced around his bedroom in extreme shock, from the whipped cream containers on his desk to the animated tentacles (Editor's note: Got Tentacles?) flailing on his TV screen. While Miki Kaoru had always been known for his large sky blue eyes, now they widened in an almost unhealthy way. He ran out the door, grabbing the short shorts from the rumpled pile on the floor.

"Better these than nothing." He said to himself as he started to run to his special place. There was only one place Miki had ever felt really at home in. The piano room. Miki had made it there without incident which surprised him. School would have just let out and usually the courtyard would be littered with people sunning themselves. But Miki was too upset to care too much. He burst in the door and was shocked. To see nearly every person in Ohtori. He saw Touga, leering at him and winking suggestively, a girl on each arm. Utena and Anthy fully dressed now, looking at him with embarrassed but pleased grins on their faces. Saionji, leaning against the back wall, was looking surly at having to be there. Juri and Nanami stood at the front of the group holding a banner that said "We love you Miki!" in large orange letters.

"Wha What's going on here?" Miki asked in a small voice.

"It's for you, Miki-kun!" Juri said. Nanami smiled,

"It's for being such a good.. Whatever it is that you are!" she said. Juri smiled, stepping up to put her hand on his shoulder. She looked him up and down and Miki could've sworn he heard her mutter..

"Nice" Miki let himself grin.

*Maybe this day won't be so bad after all* the crowd parted to reveal that his piano had been shined.

"Wow.." was all Miki could think of to say. Nanami bounced up with a nondescript man in a suit.

"And look Miki, we got this man to tune your piano for you! Isn't that great?" Miki looked over at the man. It wasn't the regular piano tuner, but instead a tall dark man with long hair, who looked vaguely familiar. He brushed past Miki to open the top of the piano to begin tuning it. However, you could not even see the insides of the piano through all of the stuff piled inside it. Touga walked up and started pulling things out and announcing them to the shocked crowd.

"A whip Rear Attack Yaoi Manga Monthly,' a life-sized blow up Naga doll, all 7 volumes of Octopussy Love' Oh, tentacles, eh Miki? Let's see. 12x18 glossy of" It became to much for Touga at this points.. He had to stop and take a deep breath, "Juri-sempai dueling. naked." The entire room got deathly silent as Juri stalked up to Miki and slapped him on the face. Touga kept going, "A stuffed Chu Chu, several dozen of what seems to be hentai manga.." Touga opened it up, and flipped through it, "Yup, hentai manga.." Touga stopped and pulled out the one of the last things. It was a manila folder of sketches of Touga Kiryuu in some *interesting* poses. Touga glanced at them, dropped the folder, and sidled up to Miki, who had been standing there in wide-eyed shock.

"So.. Miki, I never knew. So Wanna meet me here in the piano room tomorrow? It's not just for playing the piano anymore.." Saionji walked up to the piano, taking out the last item. It was a small cassette player and speakers. Saionji pressed the play' button, and the lovely sounds of the Sunlit Garden filled the room. Saionji smiled an evil Saionji smile, and made the Saionji eyes.

"It seems our friend Miki-kun hasn't really been playing the piano at all.." Saionji crowed. Kozue popped up from the back of the crowd wearing only the sheet from his bed.

"Yeah! My onii-sama can't really play at all! When we used to play in the garden, I was always having to hide his sloppy playing. Miki just stared around at the faces around him, ranging from shocked (Utena) to grossed out (Juri) to more than a little turned on (Touga). He let out a small whimper, turned heel and calmly walked out of the room. This was past a no good very bad day. This was one of those once-in-a-lifetime stopwatch-losing-undies-only-kinky-lesbian-sex-pervert-whipped-cream-slutty-little-sister-yaoi-attack-blow-up-Naga-nude-picture-fraud day! Miki kept walking, silently cursing his luck. He arrived at his dorm, freezing cold and crawled into his sheetless bed and in the short instant before sleep came he could've sworn he saw a shadowy figure holding a deep violet balloon.

Author's note: This is going to be a fic series w/ everyone having bad days so wait and see....... My email is violetfield4eva@aol.com. Drop me a line about this fic if you want to. Please no flames for being mean to poor Miki-kun! I really do love him, I'm his miko! And special thanks to both Silverwolf (for helping me release my inner hentai, for showing me Utena, and introducing me to YAOI!!!) and also most especially my good friend and bestest buddy Ryuko who not only didn't run away but typed and edited this fic for me! Those are her various smart ass comments under editor's notes.


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